Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, But Words?

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is what grownups used to tell us to say whenever someone was teasing us. Unfortunately what's bad about this statement is that it is not true because after the wounds from the sticks and stones have healed many of us are yet feeling the effects of being hurt by words that have been long since forgotten. Words hurt and they can hurt much deeper and longer than sticks and stones ever will. It doesn’t matter if they are written or spoken, they hurt. The more closely related you are to the person who says these negative things the worse it hurts. It hurts when a stranger says them. It hurts even more when a friend says them. The pain increases when a relative says them and especially when a spouse says them. However, the most damage and deepest hurt comes when we say them to ourselves long after everyone else has stopped saying them. What’s worse than anything else is when we, after repeating them for so long to ourselves, begin to believe them. If for no other reason outside of encouraging oneself, it is extremely important that we begin to learn to have positive self-talk. If no one else says that you deserve better, have the ability to achieve, look nice, are a wonderful person, are smart etc., then make sure you tell yourself. Don’t whisper it. Say it so you can hear it. If someone happens to hear you and asks why you are talking to yourself, then tell them that you like talking to intelligent people and that you like hearing intelligent people talk. Say good things to yourself and about yourself. Why is it that people so quickly reject compliments and readily believe insults? Receive the compliments by simply saying thank you and rebuke the insults replacing them immediately with a self-compliment. No it is not conceit. It is self-preserving. So say good things to yourself! You deserve it!